Diary of a New Employee

January 25th, 2010 I started a new job as a customer service agent at a local insurance company. Now having worked there for six months, here is my reflection so far...

I'll start with the bad. I know more than most people who have worked there for five + years. Not too long ago I came across a situation where the customer needed an SR22 sent to the state. If you're not aware of what that is, it's a certificate supplied by your insurance company given directly to the state to verify insurance. If your insurance company does not supply the state with the necessary documentation, you could get your license suspended. Driving on a suspended license can sometimes lead to jail time. This is serious business. Yet, my team lead, as well as other leaders within the department, didn't even know what one was, let alone how to file one.

This shocked me.

Working in insurance every day and not knowing what an SR22 is is the equivalent of being in tech support and not knowing how to save something to your desktop. Not only did I have to teach my superiors what one is, but not even our department heads knew if we filed them electronically or if I had to mail them. I was disappointed that I wasn't given the proper direction and I was disappointed in the lack of knowledge of the people who are supposed to support me.

I am, however, impressed with the care given to the employees to make sure they're happy. Twice so far I've been given tickets to watch our St. Louis Cardinals play. We are constantly given free ice cream since it's gotten so hot and we get free breakfast every so often. There are team building activities where we play games and given MORE food. (= Who doesn't like a funnel cake and and a snow cone in the middle of July?

What impresses me most, though, is their devotion to see each employee succeed and grow. I get an hour every week for personal development. I can sit with a trainer, shadow an underwriter, or even learn claims. I feel like all doors are open within this company and they will help you get to where you want to go. There's only one problem, though.

With so many options it's like standing in a buffet line and not knowing what to put on my plate first.

Almost 2 Years

It's been almost two years since I've last blogged. I'm not sure what happened exactly to make me quit writing. Lately, though, I've felt a longing to get back to it. To rediscover the love for sharing whatever it is that happens to be on my mind.

So what's on my mind today? Vacuums. After buying an average of a vacuum a year for the past 5 years I'm investing in the creme de la creme of vacuums... that's right. I'm getting a Dyson! Eeep!

This morning, after cleaning the bedroom, Keith asks what he can do to help and I respond with "You can vacuum." That's what started the vacuum buying of 2010. I've had the same vacuum for about 2 years now, which is pretty good for me, and didn't have any intention of buying a new one... especially an expensive one. It was Keith that wanted a new one... an expensive one... one that wouldn't be replaced next year.

So after some online researching and visiting Sears, we've decided on a canister style Dyson. Keith is picking it up right now. I'll be sure to let you know how it works. (=

(a simple post, but after 2 years, let's start small)

Home Alone

I don't keep many friends... or any at all if we're being truly honest. I'm not sure when I stopped keeping them or why I keep people at a distance and I don't really care to dissect the problem. There is this girl at work, though, that I have become close to and if I kept friends, she's definitely one I would want.

This weekend she was having a BBQ at her house and invited me. She's been saying for months how much she wanted us to start hanging out outside of work and I agreed to come. When the time came for me to leave, though, I couldn't bring myself to walk out the door. All I wanted to do was stay home and be alone.

I wouldn't be giving it a second thought, but this happens frequently. I make plans with someone and then break them. I agree to go some place then never pick up my phone to finalize plans. My therapist says its because I won't let people in and won't allow myself to be emotionally open to anyone new and I think she's right. I think for the most part I do keep people at a distance. So instead of going out and having fun, I chose to stay home tonight and disappoint a friend that I probably need more than anything right now...

Shaken not Stirred

Whenever you stir something, like chocolate syrup into milk, it's a gradual change. You see the white milk slowly and steadily becoming more brown. When you shake something, that change is sudden and drastic. That white milk within a few shakes becomes pure chocolate milk.

I'm in the mood for a change and I want that change to shake me.

I find that I'm getting tired of my day to day life... almost bored with the monotony of my routine. I recently got a second job doing retail to help with both bills and my longing for something different. So far, this job has yet to satisfy my craving to be shaken. If anything, it has made me long for it even more.

So, as I wait for my snow-globe of a world to be shaken, I figured I'd post this...

Centered

I had a goal today...

My goal was to be truly centered in everything I did. I wanted to be present in every moment and alive with every breath. I learned something about myself today. I learned that I'm more impatient than I thought I was. The reps on the other end of the line annoyed me with their questions and the customers I spoke to seemed to be able to give me every excuse in the book as to why they didn't pay their bill on time. Today I was able to work on that patience and was able to recognize when I was getting frustrated.

As I worked on having more patience with the people I came into contact with, I rediscovered the joy of explaining things and the satisfaction that comes from a "Thank you, ma'am". I spoke with a woman today who's policy had canceled because she didn't make her payment on time. The reason why she didn't make her payment on time was because her daughter has been in the hospital for the past six weeks and the doctors cannot figure out why she keeps having seizures. All I could do for this woman is listen to her talk about how worried she is, how wonderful her daughter is, and how grateful she was that I could make her laugh.

Being centered today has made me wonder how many of these opportunities I have missed because I'm in too big of hurry to get onto the next call... the next problem... the next resolution.

Can't Sleep

About a month ago my dad had a heart attack. He had two stints put in and his doctor told my sister and me that he was very lucky to be alive. Last night he was admitted again to the same hospital that gave him a second chance. Since hearing he was back in the hospital I've gotten about 3 hours of sleep... maybe. By nature, I'm a worrier and a care-giver, so days like today take a lot out of me. I am physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted.

It's 12:12am right now and my alarm will go off in five hours so I can make it to work on time. My mind will not rest, though. It keeps fluttering between two things. One is that my dad, my father, is probably scared to death right now, not knowing what the future holds for him. He reminds me of a child when he lays in that hospital bed and cracks jokes to lighten the mood and whether I like it or not, I've found myself doing the same thing from time to time.

The other thing that keeps drifting in and out of my head is the book that I am currently rereading. IF GRACE IS TRUE is a book that introduces the concept of Universalism, but more importantly, shares an overlooked concept that God will forever be with you. And by forever, I mean FOREVER. His grace and love do not end when your physical life ends, it continues after death whether we want it to or not.

I find it odd that these are the two things that are keeping me from much needed sleep. It's just like God to remind me that He's with me when I worry about my dad. It's also just like my dad to remind me that heredity is a strong thing. (=

Welcome Home

I have started this entry about four times now and still can't think of a great opener, so I'll just jump straight into it. For the first time in about a year, I was able to take Communion during mass. My parish recently started offering low-gluten hosts and this is great for me since I've developed a wheat allergy.

Since I've gone without the Eucharist my faith life has been slipping. I never realized exactly how important Communion was to me until I had to do without it. It's difficult to describe, but being unable to partake in this one act left an incredible void within me. That changed today, though. Today, I took Communion. Today, I was able to physically take in Christ. Today, I was just like everyone else in the Church. Today, for the first time in over a year, mass felt like home.

So often the little things get overlooked. They're so small and seemingly insignificant that we have to completely get rid of them before we sometimes even notice that they are there. My goal this week is to identify and appreciate the little things. Right now I'm appreciating how good ice cold water tastes as I finish this entry...